She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
