Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
