Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
