Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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