Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
