I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
