Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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