Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize