I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
