My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
