wanna go halves on a baby?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize