you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Randomize
