just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about youâ€
Randomize