so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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