so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
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I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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