i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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