you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
