At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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