drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize