Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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