wakey wakey hands off snakey
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
