Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize