doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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