he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
