I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
My cat gives me a boner
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
