went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I feel like abortions should bother me more
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
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He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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