Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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