guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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