girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
