Having a random hookup so left but love u
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
