I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
