I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Send help, water and tortillas.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
