the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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