We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
