i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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