were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
