New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
