whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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