considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
