Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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