your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
