When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Just puked most of my soul out..
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
