she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
