I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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