You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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