Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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