finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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