I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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