You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize