In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
