I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
