It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
