haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
