Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
