just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
