But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm passing your future prison.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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