i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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