he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
