if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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