I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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