Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
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