I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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