Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
