Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
