I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
