the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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