it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
pray to the hookup gods
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
