I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
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I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
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Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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