All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Naked. naked and bneed help.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Randomize
