Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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