My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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