were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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