I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
This house was built for laser tag.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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