the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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