his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
