oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
