Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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