Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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