Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
